Today's post is going to be a bit of a self reflection - but I hope its helpful for you as well.
Over the last few days I have been challenged a far amount about my life and ministry. I come from a family who are absolutely wonderful - who are very committed and also very determined to keep going no matter what. I remember one example when my mum came back from hospital having had a wrist replaced and although she was told to do as little as possible she was determined not to just sit there, so she started to do the washing. Once the clothes had been placed in the washing machine one handed, she then discovered that her left wrist (which wasnt replaced but also suffered from arthritus) could turn the dial to set the washing machine. Now her right wrist certainly could do it but she did not give up there. Eventually she found something that could be wedged into the dial that gave her enough leverage to turn it and therefore do the washing!
That is my family - we all try and work as hard as we can and although that is a good thing, I have been discovering some drawbacks to it lately.
I currently have two jobs in minstry and add to that my lack of time management skills/planning I often find life extremely busy and often stressful. This morning my wife was trying to help me clear some of the backlog of stuff and I got very defensive and told her that I wanted to sort out this mess - a throwback to the Bishop family trait! I am beginning to see that all I am about and do is done in my own strength - by my own force of will, by own determination. At the end of the day this is neither sustainable or healthy.
I was sent an email this morning from someone and it contained this verse:
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man" Psalm 118:8
I think I am beginning to see that I am putting more trust in man (aka me) than in God. I need to turn to God and take refuge in Him - to gain my strength from Him - to seek help from Him.
At the root of who we are - do you trust in yourself, others or God?